by Lisa Anderson

A year ago in May a new small group quietly formed at Bethany. No reason really for anyone to notice, just a group of single moms trying to see if they could learn to walk alongside each other through painful separations and divorces, learning to parent alone and help our children through the trauma and losses they too were suffering.

The desire for the group really grew out of my own experience almost five years before. My former husband and I had been active members of Bethany for well over a decade when our marriage ended and so my life imploded. Suddenly Bethany became a very difficult place for me as I felt like the only person I knew whose marriage was broken and whose family had no hope of ever being whole again.

Thankfully, at this point, someone on staff introduced me to my wonderful friend Julia, who was also facing divorce. I clung to the knowledge that I was not the only one!

Several years later, Julia and I felt God asking us to help a few women at Bethany learn how to create a safe place for each other while sharing the pain of recovering from the one relationship each of us had believed would last till death parted us. I have been amazed from the beginning at God’s faithfulness.

Our stories are painful, each unique, and yet we hear so much of ourselves in each other’s struggles. But we also have witnessed God’s transforming grace, and are able to reflect back to each other the healing of wounds and the springing up of joy in place of sorrow that only Christ’s redeeming work could accomplish.

Deep trust and incredible love have grown in this group over the past 18 months. About nine months ago we became aware of several new single moms at Bethany needing a small group and we prayerfully made the decision to start a second group. Now Bethany has two single moms groups with 11 women!

So here is how we work. We meet pretty much every other week, usually on Friday or Saturday nights. We meet around 6 pm and share a potluck meal. We always have childcare so no one will be prevented from coming because of not being able to find a babysitter. After all, we are single moms!

We do the usual small group stuff, share from the heart what’s happening in our lives, study together and pray for each other. As the months have gone on, women have babysat for each other on weekends when others have had to work, or once so one member could attend the women’s retreat.

Women have cooked meals for others, gone camping together, have used their creative gifts and redecorated other’s living spaces, have helped each other move by cleaning and painting, and have sat down and helped others get a handle on their finances.

Most recently my group invited a woman who had just filed divorce papers from a very abusive relationship, but is not a Christian, to join our group. It was so exciting to watch these beautiful Bethany women welcome this woman and have her tell me later how incredible it was to have them trust her with their stories and receive her story with no judgment or shame. I honestly believe these amazing women are going to love her into the arms of Jesus while they support her through the healing of years of abuse.

I am absolutely certain that God is doing something wonderful at Bethany for single moms in crisis.

“Preaching good news to the poor and binding up the brokenhearted.”

I also believe God wants us to find ways to support any woman who finds herself living in an abusive relationship; to stand with her so she is not alone, to not be afraid to walk alongside her in pain, and to help her understand God has not abandoned her.

As a church I’d like us to pray that we not ignore, and not allow to remain invisible, the people in our midst God has on His heart, and that we have the courage to fight for the hearts of those He loves.

“Give us eyes to see, Lord Jesus, and give us hearts to respond.”

If you would like more information on the groups, please contact either me or Julia Sensenbrenner.

How You Can Help
While members of our group have provided strong support for each other, our needs extend beyond our own internal resources.

Women in our group have received wonderful support from friends, staff and home groups, but we could still use help from Bethany members in many practical ways.

A few of these might be things like:

• Persons to do home fix-it projects
• Persons experienced with car maintenance or repair
• A man in the church to be a “Big Brother” to one of the (numerous) adolescent sons we are raising
• Childcare help for our meetings

If you would like to help, please call Lisa Anderson.