by Chris Gustafson

Editor’s note: After arriving at Bethany only a little over a year ago, I was delighted to receive an invitation to a “Newcomer’s Dinner” at the home of Wayne and Chris Gustafson. I asked them if they wouldn’t mind writing a short note about what they do & why…

I’d been noticing it for a while. On communion Sundays, there were so many faces I didn’t know walking up the aisle. Being at Bethany for almost thirty years meant I had many comfortable relationships, but few with people who were new. Not being much of an extrovert, I wasn’t sure how to change that. I prayed about it, and that’s how our home group began sponsoring Newcomers Dinners.

The recipe for a Newcomers Dinner is simple.

1. Decide on a date and find people to invite who are new to Bethany. Sometimes we sit toward the back of the church and I invite people I meet during the greeting time. Sometimes folks on the church staff send me names to contact. If you can’t do it in person, inviting someone by calling them on the phone works. It can be a bit surprising for the newcomer to receive a dinner invitation from a stranger, but there you are on the phone, sounding sane, friendly and available to answer questions.
   
   Sending an e-mail is less successful, since it’s so easy to delete a message from a name you don’t recognize, and a dinner invitation in the subject line gets mixed up with all those sweepstakes winner announcements. Leaving a message on an answering machine is rarely effective; I always assume such a message will be ignored, erased or that I’ve said my phone number too fast.
   
2. Keep the group about eight or ten but be flexible – we’ve had six to eight adults along with six kids on occasion. A couple of times only one guest has appeared. Don’t take anyone’s response to your invitation too personally. Those you invite may be too busy to respond or disinclined to come. People live complicated lives, forget, get sick, and may not show up.
   
   Your job is to extend a friendly invitation, pray through the guest list, and welcome those who walk through the door. Enjoy the preparations for the dinner; don’t worry about how clean your house is or fuss about having a fancy meal or entertainment. If the group includes kids, plan kid-friendly food.
   
3. Don’t try to do it on your own. Newcomers Dinners have kept going almost every month for about three years because another couple from our home group comes to co-host each time. Having a co-host or two spreads around the responsibility for conversations and ensures that all the guests will have someone who has been at Bethany for a while to talk to.
   
   If possible, give guests a chance to share how they came to Bethany and ask if they have any needs that aren’t currently being met there. Listen to everyone’s stories. Share a few of your own.
   
4. Continue to pray for your dinner guests during the following week. Be attentive to any next steps the Holy Spirit might be prompting you to do – a follow up phone call, an e-mail, an introduction to someone else at Bethany with similar interests or needs.
   
   Enjoy the smiles of recognition from faces that now have names on Sunday morning. Then start inviting folks for the next month’s dinner.