by Pastor Dan Baumgartner

Sometimes it’s important to pay attention to chapter titles when you read. A men’s group I’m in has been patiently reading a little book by Eugene Peterson on the story of King David. It’s called Leap Over a Wall, and each Thursday morning we talk through one chapter. A few weeks ago our assignment was entitled “Boneheads.” I’ve had a hard time getting the word out of my mind.

In the context of the David saga, it refers to II Samuel 2-4. The way Peterson tells the story, the “boneheads” were the sons of Zeruiah, including David’s general, Joab. Though they were on David’s side, these men constantly made his life difficult. They were a motley crew of jealous, quarreling, bumbling allies who never quite “got it” and required a great deal of maintenance. They thought they were helping, but in reality they wore David out and distracted him from his supposed mission. “Boneheads” are the people who make our lives messy.

This can be a problem. Most of us want life to be neat and organized. I’m not talking about the cleanliness of our houses or the organization of our calendars. I mean relationships with people.

Most of us want to know exactly how we stand with our friends and family. We shy away from relationships that have to be renegotiated or create stress. We want (or think we want) everything to be well-defined and fit neatly into categories of our choosing. We gravitate to people we know well and are predictable in given situations. We don’t need surprises. Life is messy enough all by itself.

One way to eliminate the mess is to get rid of the boneheads. That would be a fatal mistake. Mulling it over in these last weeks, I’ve been reminded of how easily I fall into this trap: “The neater and cleaner life is, the better it will be.”

It’s just not true. First of all, life is messy almost by definition. People and events contribute to a huge tapestry that somehow holds together, but at any given point tips toward utter chaos. Secondly, real life happens in the mess. People who demand too much, have bad timing and create more emotional work for us emerge at every turn.

We’d be far better off to train ourselves to see God’s presence in the midst of messes than to spend our time trying to eliminate them. It is these very people- the boneheads- that God so often uses to breathe life into us. Sterile neatness is not the goal.

My “aha” moment came as I was pondering all of this. It is not rocket science. Not only am I plagued with boneheads who complicate my life- but I myself am the bonehead in plenty of other lives. I create as much mess as anyone. I’m sure hoping that my friends can accept my messiness, and not just navigate around me.

Jesus had to deal with boneheads at every turn, didn’t he? Twelve of them, at the very least. Bumbling, striving, self-centered friends and followers who constantly just didn’t get it but thought they did. The disciples made Jesus’ life incredibly messy. You might think that the Son of God, given the gravity of his mission and short time frame, would have cleaned things up in a hurry - eliminated those relationships that required too much effort. Away with the boneheads.

That is, of course, exactly what Jesus did not do. He chose not to eliminate, but to embrace. I think he must have laughed at Peter’s bull-in-a-china-shop personality, rolled his eyes over James and John’s misguided ambitions and wept over Judas’ scheming and betrayal. What he didn’t do was cast them aside and move on.

By the time you read this, it will be close to Holy Week. We will walk on the dusty road to Jerusalem with Jesus, as best we can. We will gather on a dirty hill outside Jerusalem as witnesses to his death on a cross, outstretched arms embracing all the world- even us boneheads. And we will jump with joy when we glimpse the reality of the empty tomb. None of it is neat, clean or tidy. But in the middle of the mess…is Life.