Sermons

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Is It Okay to Ask? ...and Then What?
May 5, 2002
Fourth in a series on Prayer
Pastor Dan Baumgartner

This morning I can offer you a surefire formula. If you need to learn a little humility, if your spiritual attitude is a bit on the arrogant side…then start preaching some sermons on prayer! Few things have driven me so quickly to throw myself at God’s feet, and cry out with Job, “I have spoken about things I did not know.”

Our last three sermons have been on the subject of Prayer…first, Prayer as the foundation of an ongoing relationship with God. Second, Prayer as Confession. Third, Prayer as Listening. And today…Prayer as Asking. Whenever the subject of “asking prayer” comes up, it seems to immediately move us into the search for the formula. You know: “If we just ask God in the right way, we will get what we want.” But reality seems to be something different. Read with me in the gospel of Matthew 26:36. We catch up with Jesus here after the Last Supper, on the night he is arrested.

Matthew 26:36-46

• “God, I pray that you will provide money for the rent this month.”
  

• “God, I pray that I’ll get into Stanford.”
  

• “Lord, I pray that you heal my friend.”

Are these okay things to pray for? Is it even okay to ask God for things? The Bible certainly affirms that it is. The book of James says, “You have not because you ask not.” Scripture is filled with people making requests of God. These requests seem to be broken into two parts, for which we of course have big words: Petitionary Prayer mainly asks God for things concerning our own lives. Intercessory prayer especially asks God for things in the lives of others. Often the two overlap.

It may be that the very idea of asking for anything is difficult for you to do. Males, in particular, often seem to be stereotyped and maligned as regularly resenting suggestions that we need to ask for driving directions more often. That’s not really fair…we WILL find the destination … eventually! It is, in fact, far easier for me to pray my thanksgivings, my praises, even my confessions of sin…than it often is to ask God for what I need or want. “Asking” puts us in a position of being dependent…which may be EXACTLY why God wants us to ask. We ARE dependent, we do need God, and asking reminds us of that in the middle of a world which so highly values self-sufficiency. “Whether we like it or not,” Charles Spurgeon once wrote, “asking is the rule of the kingdom.”

Why are we reluctant to ask? Sometimes asking God for things makes us feel self-absorbed, as though God wouldn’t have time to deal with our petty concerns. Sometimes asking makes us feel immature, like we should be able to handle a situation ourselves, but we can’t. Sometimes we wonder, if God is a God who knows everything, he already knows what we will ask…so why bother? To all of these things, the words of Jesus particularly seem to come through the gospels over and over: Ask. Keep asking. Knock, keep knocking. God WANTS us to ask. If you have kids, you probably know what they would need or want most of the time…but that doesn’t mean you don’t want them to ask you for things. In fact, in the very act of asking, the relationship can be deepened. Dialogue goes on, one person gets to know the other better, gratitude can be expressed, our need for the other articulated. God likes to be asked…because God wants to be in relationship with us.

What should we ask for? Well, let’s eliminate immediately the prayers which are downright silly: “God, I’d like the BMW I saw today.” “God, I’d like there to be ONE warm, sunny day in May.” God is not a genie indebted to grant us three wishes. It would at least seem to be appropriate that, if we are followers of Jesus Christ, if we are trying to be “people after God’s own heart,” then we should be praying for things that are in line with God’s character, and God’s will insofar as we can know it. Praying for people in difficult situations, praying for daily needs, praying for peace, trying to distinguish between opulent wants and heartfelt needs…these things are fundamental to sincere asking prayer.

How should we ask? Should we ask specifically: “God, I want to ask for a job?” Or more generally, “God, just bring about whatever you want to happen?” General prayers are much safer, just acknowledging that God’s going to do what He’s going to do. Specific prayers run the risk of not being answered. Now, sometimes we know EXACTLY how God would have us pray. For instance, it is always in line with God to pray for the spreading of the gospel: “God, I want my friend to know you personally; I ask that something would happen to bring that about.” Scripture is pretty clear that God wants ALL people to know the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Or we can pray pretty confidently for the healing of a marriage relationship, because it is clear that God desires honest, intimate marriages. Other things are tougher. When I go into a hospital room…do I automatically pray for a person to be healed? Is God’s will that everyone who is injured or sick or elderly…be healed to live well physically? In these last years, I have often found myself trying to first LISTEN: Lord, what would you have me pray? And second, DO I KNOW already what I ought to pray for (from scripture or conviction)? Then do it. If I’m still not sure, I often pray “Lord, I want to ask you for the desires of my heart.” And I tell God what I long for. The Psalmist says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” That could mean God gives you what you desire, but it could also mean that God will change what you desire.

Jesus’ prayer here in the Garden of Gethsemane has much to teach us about prayer. At the pivotal point in Jesus’ life, as he knows he is about to be arrested, what does he do? He goes to the garden to pray. And as he prepares to pray…he wants to be around other people. In fact, interestingly it is Peter and James and John that he takes with him, away from the others. The same three who went with Jesus up on the Mount of Transfiguration and observed the divinity of Jesus as heavenly glory and intimacy with God break out around Him…go with Jesus in this, his most human, darkest hour, his deepest need. “Stay awake with me…for I am deeply grieved…(agitated, even depressed),” he tells them.

And the first words from Jesus’ mouth are almost shocking to us. He starts to ASK: “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me”; the “cup” is what is about to transpire, is Jesus’ arrest and trial and beating and crucifixion. The “cup” is taking on the sins and brokenness and loneliness of a whole world. Sometimes we tend to glamorize Jesus, to think of him floating around with a gentle voice and calm demeanor because we believe Him to be One with Almighty God, to be fully divine. And this is true. But this phrase also shows us the “other” Jesus, the fully human Jesus who experiences what we experience…right down to the fear of pain, darkness and death. “Let this cup pass from me. This fear, this darkness, this loneliness, make them go away.” Never is there a more powerful, more honest prayer, the prayer of the desire of one’s heart than Jesus’ prayer. “God, the cross that lies ahead is so very heavy, would you remove it?” Is it okay to tell God what we want? Jesus’ first prayer says yes.

But. Jesus also says, “YET not what I want, but what you want.” He is very honest, very specific in his asking…but he puts his agonized asking prayer under this umbrella: that he wants what God wants, that he will ultimately follow…come what may. Whether the prayer is answered or not…he will follow. And by praying like this, he raises the possibility that God may not answer his specific prayer in the way he asked…and so he raises the looming question: What happens when we pray…and do not receive what we ask for? What do we do with that?

It is perhaps the most perplexing part of the Christian faith. Job, the poster child of the faithful believer, cries out of the Old Testament, “God, I’m asking you what I did to deserve all this? This cross is too heavy for me to bear, my wealth is gone, my health is gone, my kids are gone, I have nothing, ARE YOU NOT HEARING MY PRAYERS?”

You have been there. So have I. A prayer unanswered. We have tried and tried and tried to hit the right formula that gives the desired outcome. And we have failed. Pain, or even evil, are running rampant in our lives. We’ve asked, we’ve gotten nothing. C.S. Lewis wrote, “Every war, every famine or plague, almost every death bed, is the monument to a petition that was not granted.” What do we do with these times? Let me list out some possibilities for you. Each of these has some truth in them, but each is dangerous when considered by itself:

a) Prayers may go unanswered when they would be detrimental to other people around us. Perhaps the extreme is when you pray for the Mariners to win a baseball game. Besides seeming a bit trivial, it would be hard for God to answer both the prayer of the Mariners fan AND the Yankees fan (if indeed anyone prays for the Yankees!) Less facetious, perhaps, is the prayer of one person for an outcome in a political election that would cost other people their jobs. We need to be careful what we pray for, and it underscores the power of agreeing together in prayer.

b) Maybe God HAS answered your prayer, but not in way you imagined. This has happened to me many times. When I was working in business, I often prayed that God would use me in ministry. God answered that in different ways, but soon called me into full-time pastoral ministry. Let me tell you, it was NOT what I envisioned when I prayed!

c) Your prayer may be answered…God wants to equip you to DO something. Perhaps we pray for people who don’t have a place to sleep on some given night, that God would be near to them. Nothing wrong with that prayer, and maybe God answers that prayer with His spiritual presence. Then again, maybe He would have you become involved in ministry to the homeless, and towards that end He equips you, places a call on your heart, and surrounds you with people through whom the topic keeps coming up. Before you know it YOU are staffing a shelter for the homeless…and your prayer has been answered…by God calling you to action.

d) We may have prayers unanswered when we are not prepared for what we ask for. If we ask for a position of responsibility, we may not be prepared to handle it. If we ask for success in business, perhaps that would be a greater stumbling block to us than we could ever imagine. AND…we may pray something in the moment…that we wouldn’t have in calmer circumstances. C.S. Lewis again, “If God had granted all the silly prayers I’ve made in my life, where would I be now?”

e) Prayers may go unanswered because we are not aware of our narrow perspective. Things are not always what they seem at first glance. The disciples there with Christ in the garden, who had followed him for three years, thought that with his arrest and crucifixion, God had abandoned them totally. Yet God was actually nearer to them than He had ever been. We don’t see much of what is going on.

f) Prayers seem unanswered because we are not aware of our short perspective. God sees eternity, the building blocks of history move slowly, and God’s purposes will be accomplished. And one day, in God’s eternity, all the things that are wrong now…will be set right. Easter has provided the final answer. But we see only a piece now.

So I list all of these “answers” out. And…when I have tried as best I know to not pray out of selfish motives, to pray in line with God’s will, to look for ways that God answers differently than expected, to admit I don’t have the whole perspective…perhaps 95% of my questions about prayer are answered. And that still leaves 5%, doesn’t it? It still leaves great unanswered questions. Why has my friend been hurt over and over and over when I have prayed for his protection?

Painful questions. And yet…they’re not all unanswered either. God acts. God answers. I have seen God transform lives from absolutely hopeless to full and rich. I have seen God somehow take the worst situation, and bring great good out of it. Certainly the cross of Christ was horrible…and yet God redeemed it for the benefit of all humanity. I have felt God’s presence in times of prayer. Even this week, I have prayed with some of you and we have been in awe at the quiet that falls upon our hearts and sends shivers up our spine.

It leaves me a little like Job, who argues with God and his friends for 41 chapters, until he finally comes back in a quiet voice to a God he now sees has never abandoned him, and says, “Okay. I see I can’t see it all. It is enough to know you are here.”

The question is not solved. I cannot solve it. There is still a riddle, still a part of God I can’t totally figure out…that part, I guess, we would call faith. G.K Chesterton came to a point in his life when he talked about faith this way: “…the riddles of God proved more satisfying than the answers proposed without God.” I think that applies to prayer as well. In prayer, we are with God. And so the next time I go to God…I will ask. Yes, I’ll pray to know God’s will. I’ll pray to know myself, to know my motives. And then I’ll ask. And I’ll keep asking. Sometimes, we’ll receive what we ask. Sometimes we’ll get an answer different than we expected. And sometimes it won’t be so simple. But we’ll be in God’s presence even in our asking, and it seems to me that’s the right place to try and sort these things out. Amen.