Have you ever bought anything and soon after…began to doubt your sanity for doing so? What was it? When we lived it Minneapolis, we found it pretty important to have a car with all-wheel drive in the winter. So, we did all the research, found a Suburu dealership and picked out a used car with all-wheel drive.

We knew about how much it should cost, felt really good about it. But by the time we waited in the showroom, we added in taxes, and we waited, negotiated with six different people at the dealership, none of whom could make a decision without consulting their boss, waited…it was a little more than I wanted to pay.

And by the time I’d driven home, I was racked with self-doubt. Had I done the right thing? I heard every squeek and rattle. Had I made a bad decision? Been foolish? “Buyer’s Remorse,” they call it.

In the story of Abram in Genesis, I think we have a picture of something similar that I’ll call “Believer’s Remorse.” You see, there’s a problem with this business of believing God. There is too much waiting. We wait so long we are practically forced to take matters into our own hands. We wait so long that we begin to doubt…that God can be trusted…or is good. Or that God can do anything. Or that God…even IS. Waiting plays havoc with our faith.

Abram had been promised some amazing things by God. We read about them last week in chapter 12, three things in particular.

First, God told Abram he would give him a special land…even though Abram was a nomad, and there were plenty of people in the land God had his eye on.

Second, God told Abram that he and Sarai would have many children…even though they had been unable to have children, and they were now entering old age.

And third, God told Abram that their family would be a blessing to all the peoples of the earth, even though they were ordinary, small, insignificant folks.

Extraordinary. And Abram believed God. At least for awhile. Until he had waited a while, and nothing was happening. Abram hears God in a vision say “Do not be afraid, Abram…trust me…your reward will be very great.”

That’s when Abram’s “Believer’s remorse” blurts out: “God---you promised me we’d have kids…but it is not happening, and I’ll have to will everything to one of my servants.”

God hears the doubt in Abram. So he gives him something tangible: “Look up in the night sky and count the stars…if you can. That’s how many descendants you’ll have.”

Now, someone recently has gone to the trouble to look with the naked eye into the night sky in the Middle East and count the stars, apparently around 8000…which totally misses the point! God isn’t saying “Abe, you’ll have 8000 descendants, nice round number!” He’s saying “Look with your eyes, and see that your family will be large, practically beyond number.” Sometimes we need something tangible to fight our doubts.

Then God speaks again and says “Abram, also please remember that I’m giving you this land.” Again, Abram has doubts. He’s been waiting, and nothing has been happening. “Lord, how do I KNOW that this will happen?” And again, God meets Abram in a tangible way.

“On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram.”

That word “made” can also be translated as “cut,” ie “On that day the Lord cut a covenant with Abram.” He made an agreement with him, and also gave him what he knew he needed: a tangible sign.

I don’t suggest you try this at home, but here’s what happens. Abram, at God’s instruction, brings all the animals that were used for sacrifice in ancient times, cuts them (that’s where the “cutting” of a covenant comes in) in half and separates the two. The sun goes down, Abram falls into a deep sleep and faces a frightening darkness, a void. God’s voice speaks into this void and says “Abram, there will be very difficult times (slavery) for your descendants, and you yourself will not see the entry into the land I have for them…but it will happen.”

The sun goes down, it’s dark, and between the pieces of cut-up sacrifice, bright light appears. “A smoking fire pot and a flaming torch.” Clearly the presence of God, the same way that the presence of God appears to Israel during the exodus in a pillar of fire. In the ways of the ancient covenant ceremony, the person passing between the sacrifice is essentially saying “This is my promise, and may I be cut up like this if I don’t fulfill my end of the agreement.” Don’t try it at home. It’s harsh, but a very, very strong message of commitment.

“On that day, the Lord made a covenant with Abram…” Now, there are all sorts of covenants in scripture, and they are not all the same. This morning let’s think about what this covenant IS…and what it is NOT.

This is an unconditional covenant. Or some would call it a “unilateral” covenant. That is, it is one-sided. Who makes this covenant? God does. It is God who makes the three-fold promise, and it is God who walks between the pieces of the cutting. This is a covenant that is based only on God’s promise, not a mutual promise, not on Abram’s performance. It is unconditional. God says: “I will meet you in land, ancestors, and blessing. And since you are tired of waiting, since you seem to easily suffer from believer’s remorse…here is a tangible sign of this promise, laid out before you in flesh and fire.”

Now, stop and think. This is rather absurd, isn’t it? God is obligating himself, pledging himself, to love and bless Abram. But Abram is not obligated. The promise is one-sided, simply laid out to Abram. Immediately all of the “what if’s?” come. What if Abram is unfaithful to God? What if Abram screws up? What if Abram doesn’t deserve God’s love? It doesn’t matter. This is an unconditional covenant.

Another word we use in a similar way is “grace.” Undeserved favor. Unconditional love. God makes a covenant with Abram. And that covenant, ultimately is for a relationship. God is not coercing Abram into a list of behaviors. He leaves him as a free being…but pledges Himself.

Now, think about what this is NOT. It is not a contract. If it was a contract [or a conditional covenant] it would be an entirely different thing. God would go first with his promise, followed by Abram with his promise. God would walk down the row first, and then Abram would do it. One promise would be contingent on the other. But that’s not what goes on here. It’s not a mutual contract.

We are far more comfortable with two-way contracts, I think. Why? Because they protect us. Make us feel safe. If the other party fails, we have no obligation, we can move on. That’s not what this is. This is risky.

Last night there was a wedding in this very room, Alex Pulver and Autumn West. Great couple, great story of finding one another in their thirties. They wrote out their own vows to each other. Let me read you the last part:

“And on this day, and all the days to come, I vow to be faithful to you, honest with you and to cherish and adore you all of my life.”

In the middle of the ceremony, Alex read his vow to Autumn. And Autumn read hers to Alex. Neither of them said “As long as you keep your part of this up, I’ll keep up mine.” All of their vows/promises were for a future…that neither of them frankly knows what it will end up looking like. Neither of them said “we’ll see how this goes and re-evaluate after a couple years.” They weren’t contingent vows. They were covenant vows. And maybe just a hint of the way God has chosen to deal with us.

Let’s keep digging at this for a minute. Let’s say that you have a daughter, or a kid sister or niece much younger than you are. When she is an infant, she is of course, an absolute delight. A flat-out miracle. You can’t believe the thrill of watching her simply breathe as she sleeps, or turn over for the first time, or begin to recognize you. You think your heart is going to burst open, you are so filled with love. And as she grows up, such a cute little kid, starting off to school, the world begins to open up, it is wonderful to read stories, see her make friendships, play at the park. You love, she loves back.

But what if…what if along about high school, things take an inexplicable and dramatic turn? What if you find out she keeps making terrible choices? What if cigarettes turn into drinking into drug issues into a total breakdown of any sense of morals? What if your little baby, or baby sister or niece continues down that path into adulthood, and she rejects your love? What if one day you get the dreaded phone call that she’s in really serious trouble? What do you do?

If your relationship is a contract, if you signed onto a contract to be a parent or sister or aunt…you write it off. She didn’t keep her end of the deal, so now she’s on her own. You’re no longer obligated.

But that’s not what happens, is it? Of course not! I’m always touched when the newspaper interviews the parent of someone who has committed a serious crime, and the mom or dad say “We’re so very sorry for those he has hurt. We are heartbroken that he would do this. But he’s still our son. We love him.” Well…of course. You didn’t become a parent by signing a contract. You fell in love. You continue in a relationship.

When it comes to God, wouldn’t you rather have covenant than contract? Relationship instead of a list of behaviors? Unconditional instead of contingent? Would we want it any other way? Would we really want God to write up a list of behaviors and when we can’t keep up, say “that’s it, you messed up, I’m no longer related to you!”

I don’t. I want the God who says “I have covenanted with you. I forgive you…I wish you hadn’t done that…I still love you.”

It’s what God did in Jesus Christ, isn’t it? Coming to earth in Jesus Christ, to bring forgiveness in his cross and resurrection, not because we deserved it but because we needed it. When all else failed, coming in person when we least deserved it. It’s called grace, and it’s seen most clearly in Jesus. God’s covenant with Abraham is an early indicator of how God would deal with his people. And at whatever point we taste this…we are changed.

But we get Believer’s Remorse every bit as much as Abram. God’s actions on His promises take too long and we start to doubt. We need tangible things too, as much as Abram needed to count stars and experience the cutting of a covenant.

God has provided for us in this way as well, in people, in circumstances, in scripture… but also in two special ways that function as signs of the covenant:

1) We’re not sharing in the Lord’s Supper this morning, but if you can remember Jesus’ words on his last night on earth which we repeat each time we share at the table together…he said “this cup is the covenant, sealed in my blood…for the forgiveness of sins” God’s very one-sided assurance of his love and presence with us.

2) In baptism, we have another sign of the covenant. The people of Israel were physically marked in circumcision, as God’s covenant people…given a name and an identity. In Jesus Christ, we are “marked” (spiritually) in baptism, given our primary identity. I always say to the child or person being baptized “you are a child of the covenant, you have been marked as one of Christ’s own forever.”

Baptism and the Lord’s Supper can be tangible, physical acts, ways to taste, touch, see, smell, experience the goodness of God.

It doesn’t fix everything. We still wait. We still doubt. Abram still had a lot to believe for, would fall on his face many times, would have to be patient even beyond his own lifetime. Yet I suspect that along the way, he thought back more than once to that dark night when the fiery light of God cemented the covenant, and calmed (at least for awhile), his doubts.