Good morning. For those of you that know me, you know I’m not exactly the world’s biggest risk taker. I like my security and comfort.

Two years ago my security and comfort were challenged. I know that I have already shared with you about some of my experiences while in Nairobi. I don’t think, however, that I have ever shared with you how I ended up going in the first place.

Of course, it started with Jeff’s suggestion. He asked if I might want to accompany him when he made the trip(with folks from Bethany) as the elder for Global Outreach. It probably comes as no surprise that my initial gut response to Jeff’s suggestion was negative. No, I didn’t want to go. And I didn’t want him to put any pressure on me to go. And I didn’t want to hear from him or any one else any messages like - you aren’t a good Christian until you go to Africa where the really committed Christians live and work.

Still, I assumed that I couldn’t totally reject the idea without some time in prayer. I knew enough about God and about myself, that it wouldn’t be a good idea to say “no” to something simply out of fear of the unknown or simply because it might be a little uncomfortable. So I gave the decision some time and prayer. And some more time and prayer. .

The week before the decision needed to be made, I still didn’t have any clear sense one way or the other about going, but I didn’t feel good about completely shutting down the option either. I called a friend that week - she happened to be home - and I told her about my being stuck on this decision. She asked me a question that had never occurred to me - what could I bring or offer by going? Frankly, I had never thought of that question, probably because I couldn’t possibly see what I had to offer. I was sure I’d be the wimp or weenie in the group – and the others would see me as high maintenance.

Shortly after this call, I got a phone call from another friend – who was not aware of that first phone conversation. She told me that she was thinking and praying for me regarding my decision about Africa. She went on to tell me some ways she thought that I could contribute by going.

That same day I also got an email from Lynne – our pastor Lynne – saying she didn’t want to put any pressure on me but she did think there would be parts of the trip that I would enjoy, and then she went on to give me specific examples of how she thought my going could possibly be helpful. Now none of these friends had been in contact with each other – but even I recognized that there was a common theme going on here – maybe God wanted me to consider how my going could actually be helpful in some way.

Another reason I’d hadn’t wanted want to go was because of my son, Nate’s, travel plans. He was leaving for a college semester abroad. Based on his itinerary, he was scheduled to leave Seattle while I’d have been in Kenya – I wouldn’t have a chance to see him the week before he left or to say good-bye to him at the airport. He didn’t care; I did. It’s one of those mom things. While I was hearing from my friends Nate called to tell me that his travel plans had changed. He wasn’t leaving Seattle for overseas until the end of August – which would mean if I did go to Africa, I’d be home before he left.

During these same few days, I was continuing my regular practice of reading Scripture and two passages jumped out at me. One was the passage of the rich young ruler who walked away from Jesus, because he was holding tightly to his possessions – his security. Another passage was from the gospels where Pilate decided not to release Jesus. In the Pilate story the commentator added that Pilate hadn’t released Jesus because he cared more about his own comfort than justice. I began to wonder about my own desire for security and comfort over against justice.

All these things happened in the course of less than a week. And one last thing was happening: I was beginning to feel some internal nudge, a sense that perhaps it would be a good idea to go. I was even beginning to feel a glimmer of excitement growing in me about the prospect.

I have monthly lunches with a woman named Rita. Many of you know Rita – the executive director of New Horizons ministry – a ministry to street kids here in Seattle. Our monthly lunch happened to be that same week. Now those of you that know Rita will know that she is a risk taker - big time - and would jump at the chance to go to Africa if given the opportunity. While I’m a bit cautious, she’s quite bold. Over lunch I explained to Rita the events of the last few days and then said, “Rita, do you think God is trying to get my attention about going to Kenya?” Her response was “Margie, God would have had me on just one of those things, but God knows you, and knows that you’d needed all 7 to get you to go.

In short, this is how I discerned that God was leading me to go to Kenya. And I went.

This week we are continuing our series on spiritual disciplines – Remember what spiritual disciplines are about – they are practices or habits we routinely do to respond to God and to cultivate our relationship with God.

Let me also remind you of a very basic starting point for any of these spiritual disciplines. We practice them because we believe that God loves us and longs to be in relationship with us. We believe that God desires our good and wants to meet our deepest longings. St Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, even goes so far to say that “sin is our unwillingness to trust that what God wants is our deepest happiness.”

If we don’t believe God loves us, desires to be known by us, wants our deepest happiness, spiritual disciplines won’t come easily. They may be experienced as ways to win a harsh god’s loving approval. Or if we believe we know better than God what is best for us, these habits will seem simply irrelevant. But they aren’t irrelevant, nor are they ways to win God’s approval.

God already loves us and desires to help us in life, for our deepest good. We need to start with the deep conviction that spiritual disciplines are practices or habits to respond to God’s love for us. We respond for the sake of cultivating our relationship with God because we trust God wants our deepest happiness, is on our side, for our good.

Today’s spiritual discipline is discernment. How do we listen to or look for God’s leading and presence in our lives (repeat). And for our purposes today, I want to talk specifically about how we might recognize God’s leading or presence in the day to day choices we make all the time.

Reading: Proverbs 3:5-8

I think that we often approach discernment with some very inaccurate models of what it is like to discover God’s will. For example, it seems that sometimes we employ what might be called the “scavenger hunt” model – God places various hidden clues in our life, and our job is to look under every rock, behind every door, to find the hidden clues. When we finally find the clues we can figure out God’s will and act upon it. God is pleased. And, if we miss the clues, too bad for us, we lose….

Another unhelpful model is the begging model. We go to God when we need some specific guidance, pleading with God to show us the way. At first God doesn’t pay any attention, but as we plead over and over again, God finally (and reluctantly) gives in and gives us some help. This model doesn’t have a loving God wanting to give us what we need, this is the model of a stingy God – a God only willing to dole out guidance if we grovel enough.

In contrast to these models, we might think of discernment in terms of a radio and radio waves. God broadcasts and we receive. (Now, I know this analogy is pretty weak on the relational aspect of God – not exactly Trinitarian or personal sounding - but this imagery does help to explain both what God is doing and what we do in the process of discernment. God is constantly broadcasting - actively communicating to us. God is on the air 24/7. The air is thick with God, just like the air is thick with radio waves. But, like a radio, we need to tune in to hear. We need to turn to the right frequency to hear what the radio waves are communicating.

Now the radio doesn’t make the radio waves. Turning on or tuning the radio doesn’t cause the radio waves to rush in. The radio waves are already there. In the same way, God is present, God is constantly communicating. That is a given. God isn’t stingy in offering guidance, nor hiding it, but is continually present, wanting us to “tune in”, to respond to what’s being offered.

Using this analogy, then, there are two questions worth exploring. First, how does God broadcast? What are the means God speaks through? And second, how do we tune in? How do we receive what God longs to share with us?

Let’s first look at the question: how does God broadcast? How does God lead? What medium does God speak through?

First, God broadcasts through Scripture. Scripture is God’s written word that tells the story of who our God is and gives us pictures of what it looks like to live in response to our God. We need to turn to Scripture when we want to know God’s perspective in our lives. Tim already shared a whole sermon about the spiritual discipline of Scripture reading, but let me just remind us of the ways that this can be so important when it comes to discernment.

Sometimes Scripture is quite clear on a specific question we are asking. If I’m spending energy trying to determine what God thinks of my idea of stealing my co-worker’s car or sleeping with her husband, I can stop wasting my energy doing so – God has made it clear in Scripture that stealing and adultery aren’t high on God’s to do list.

Sometimes we discover God’s will by being familiar with the whole story of Scripture. As we read Scripture broadly we learn of the very character of God. We may be considering a particular decision and not find a specific directive in Scripture about it.

Still, as we ponder the question of what to do in light of what we have learned of God, we may end up concluding that a particular choice just doesn’t seem to fit with the God we are coming to know. It just doesn’t seem like the decision that a God of justice or mercy would want. Or it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that a loving God who was willing to go to the cross would want us to do.

Sometimes we also see God’s perspective in more nuanced ways, like those I mentioned in my Kenya example. I was reading Scripture – not specifically to get an answer to my decision but because it’s a habit of mine. In that reading, God showed me a connection to my circumstances. God helped me to see the parallel between Pilate’s desire for comfort instead of justice and my own attitude. I realized I didn’t want to be like Pilate.

One word of caution. Scripture is not like a magic 8 ball, shake it up and hope the correct advice will be given. Sometimes in desperation we are tempted to flop open the Bible and expect to find an answer on whatever page we have turned to. That reminds me of an example in the book The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass where Adrian opens the Bible, notices it talks a lot about people from the Jewish community so surmises that God is calling him to move to Jerusalem. Not exactly the model to follow, but in the regular reading of Scripture, we open ourselves up to God’s leading and presence in the daily events of our lives.

In addition to Scripture, God also broadcasts in the circumstances of our lives. You can call all those circumstances of mine surrounding my decision to go to Kenya merely coincidences, but I choose to believe that God was in midst of the circumstances, wanting me to recognize the guidance in them. Nate’s change of travel plans. The series of phone calls and emails. My lunch with Rita. And, God can use all the circumstances in our lives – movies, TV shows, sporting events, family, friends, jobs, books, dreams – all are ways that God can communicate with us. We can also see how God uses the ordinary circumstances in the lives of biblical characters. Look how God used the encounter between Cornelius and Peter in the book of Acts. Through this meeting, God’s desire to include Gentiles in the Christian church became more of a possibility. God loves to guide us in the ordinary circumstances of our lives.

God also broadcasts through the Christian community – the Church. God loves being present and guiding us through people, and the body of Christ, the church is a key place we can look to discern God’s perspective. We live in such an individualistic culture where the assumption is that any decision I make is only up to me to make. I know what is best for me – but God delights in speaking through the body of Christ. The phone calls and emails I received the week I needed to make my decision were all from folks from Bethany – my Christian community.

We see God using the church for guidance of individuals in Scripture. It was while the church at Antioch was praying together, that God spoke through them collectively telling them to set Paul and Barnabus aside together for service. God wants to and can still work in that way. I’ve mentioned before that through the years, folks in my home group have brought to the group decisions like job moves, buying a new house, parenting questions all with the belief that by our praying and processing together, God’s perspective is offered.

God communicates through Scripture, through the circumstances of our lives, through the church and finally, through what is frequently described as “nudges from the Holy Spirit.” “Nudges” isn’t exactly a precise theological term, but it seems to be the best way to describe this way in which God sometimes speaks. We may experience a nudge as a slight internal inclination, a little nagging sense that doesn’t easily go away, a slight shift in our emotions.

In my case, I experienced a shift from not wanting to go to Kenya, to being more open to going. Now when we enter this subjective realm I realize things get messy. But it is true that Christians throughout history speak of getting nudges from God that have guided them. We’re talking about promptings like giving a friend a call, an internal check to keep our mouths shut, the experience of a small sense of joy, a strong longing for justice and being nudged to act on that longing. God does get our attention through our interior life – even with us rational, controlled, decently and in order Presbyterians.

In each of these ways, God speaks to us. God “broadcasts through Scripture, through circumstances, through community and through nudges. While sometimes God may use just one of these ways to help us discern needed guidance, often God will speak the same idea through several ways. When this occurs, there is often a synergistic effect. When you find them all coming together with a consistent message or theme, it is a good chance that you are “Hearing” God, discerning God’s leading and presence in your life.

Up to now, I’ve focused on the means through which God broadcasts – how, in effect, God sends out radio waves. Yet, when we talk about spiritual disciplines we are talking about the habits that WE cultivate in our lives – the focus is on what we are to do – or sticking with the radio analogy, what do we do to tune in to God’s broadcast in Scripture, circumstances, community and nudges?

What are ways that can help us tune in? Let me say, first, however, that when we seek God’s will for our lives we are engaging relationally with a loving God and a Holy Mystery. There are no formulas. No guaranteed-to-work approaches. As Gordon Smith says, “God doesn’t respond to prayer like a push button machine. Discernment is not a matter of technique, something that can be learned from a manual in 3 easy steps.” No formulas.

Yet,with that being said, I’d like to talk about practices that Christians throughout the centuries have found helpful in noticing or recognizing God’s leading and presence.

From the standpoint of our activity, tuning in, practicing the habit of discernment can be described as simply as the practice of paying attention. It is as easy and as hard as that. Paying attention to God’s leading and presence through Scripture, circumstances, inner nudges and paying attention to the wisdom and guidance of our Christian community.

How do we pay attention? Or perhaps more precisely, what conditions make paying attention easier?

First paying attention tends to take time and spaciousness. God is rarely loud and aggressive in getting our attention. As God told the prophet Elijah, I’m not in the earthquake or fire, but in the still small voice.

We need room in our lives, space and time in order to notice this still small voice. Crammed, overcommitted lives leave little room to hear God to speak. We race through a quick reading of Scripture because we need to move on to the next thing. We are too busy to be with others in community, to listen to God speak through them. We charge through circumstances in our day. The adrenalin of our lives drowns out the nudges. If we want to cultivate a spirit of paying attention to God’s leading and presence, we need time and space.

Second, we need to pay attention with our whole selves. We need to pay attention to what we experience from the outside and to what is going on inside of us – what are our thoughts and feelings? What is our gut telling us? After I became a Christian, my church taught emotions weren’t to be taken seriously.

A drawing of a train was used to illustrate the Christian life. The engine of the train represented the facts of faith while my feelings were merely the caboose. Even though that was a very long time ago, some of us can still discount emotions as elusive and inherently untrustworthy. Especially for us Scandinavian types….

Given that God does guide through our interior life, however, we need to pay attention to what is going on there. How do you emotionally respond to what you read in Scripture? Is there something you do that you notice feels life giving? Is there something that every time you think about it gives you a sense of joy? And, if you play the thought or emotion all the way out to the end, does it sound like God? Consistent with who God is? Then chances are that might be God guiding you in some way.

Some other basic questions to ask ourselves if we think our gut feeling or response might be of God might be: Is it in harmony with Scripture? Does this internal response fit with the basic truths of who God is: Is it loving? Redemptive? Reconciling? Serving? Does it lead us towards and not away from God? What is going on inside of you? To pay attention to God’s leading and presence, we need to listen – to tune in –to pay attention - with our whole selves. Our minds, bodies, and emotions.

We tune in, pay attention to God by allowing time and space, by listening with our whole selves and third, we pay attention by looking back, by reflecting.

I find that it is usually in hind sight that I recognize God’s leading and presence. This is where reflection is helpful. If I didn’t reflect, I’d miss much of what God is offering me. And I know I’m not alone in this.

This is where what we call the prayer of examen is helpful. We prayed a bit of it today in our prayer time. It is an attempt to help us reflect on our day, be aware of God’s leading and presence in our lives. And, it’s a practice we can do regularly. What would it look like for you to regularly prayerfully look back on your day, reflecting on the events and interactions? It can be as simple as looking back on your day and asking yourself ‘For what moment today am I most grateful? What moment am I least grateful for?’ If we want to pay attention, to God’s leading and presence, we need time of reflection.

God “broadcasts” or guides us in and through Scripture, circumstances, the church, and the nudges of our interior life. To pay attention, to “turn in,” to discern God’s guidance, we need to be a people who build in time and space in our lives, who listen with our whole selves and who take the time to regularly reflect. We pay attention because we want to hear the voice of God. We pay attention because we want to follow a God who loves us and desires only our best.

May we be a people wide awake to God’s leading and presence in our lives.